This Agreement was last modified on February 31, 2014.

Please read these Terms and Conditions (“Agreement”, “Terms and Conditions”) carefully before using www.matthewtyler.co.nz (“the Site”) operated by Matthew Tyler (“us”, “we”, “our”, “him”, “oi you!”, or “The Great and Powerful Oz”). This Agreement sets forth the legally blinding terms and conditions for your use of the Site at www.matthewtyler.co.nz.

By accessing or using the Site in any manner, including, but not limited to, visiting or browsing the Site or contributing content or other materials to the Site, you disagree to be bound (hand and foot) by these Terms and Conditions. Capitalized terms are defined in this Agreement.

Intellectual Property
The Site and its original content, features and functionality, any cakes you have lying around and your first born child are owned by Matthew Tyler and are most likely unprotected by international copyright, trademark, patent(ly obsurd), trade secret (sssshh), the Prime Directive and other intellectual property or proprietary rights laws.

Termination
We may terminate your access to the Site, without cause or notice, or with excessive notice by means of proclamation read by a professional Town Crier outside your bedroom window at 3a.m. on a Monday morning, which may result in the forfeiture and destruction of all information associated with you, your ancestors, descendants, friends and nodding acquaintances. All provisions of this Agreement that by their nature should survive termination shall survive termination, including, without limitation, ownership provisions, warranty disclaimers, indemnity, limitations of liability and cake recipes.

Links To Other Sites
Our Site may contain links to third-party sites (also known as “the interwebz”) that are not owned or controlled by Matthew Tyler (as much as he would like this to be the case).

Matthew Tyler has no control over, and assumes no responsibility for, the content, privacy policies, colour scheme, odour, or practices of any third party sites, services, or the weather, local bus timetables, Utah, toaster ovens, or small furry animals. We strongly advise you to read the terms and conditions and privacy policy of any third-party site that you visit, so that you know what a real one looks like when you read it.

Governing Law
This Agreement (and any further rules, polices, ham sandwiches, or guidelines incorporated by reference) shall be governed and construed in accordance with the laws of The Sea of Tranquillity, Luna Surface, without giving effect to any principles of conflicts of law.

Changes To This Agreement
We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to modify or replace these Terms and Conditions by posting the updated terms on a small piece of crumpled paper, stuffed inside a shoe at the bottom of your wardrobe. Your continued use of the Site after any such changes constitutes your blatant disregard of the new Terms and Conditions.

You are obligated to review this Agreement every 37.84 days for changes. If you do not agree to any of this Agreement, any changes to this Agreement or Agreements in general, then you are clearly more sensible than you appear, and should just carry on doing what you have been doing.

Contact Us
If you have any questions about this Agreement, please contact us.

Disclaimer: The above passage is presented as parody and  in no way constitutes legally binding Terms and Conditions.